Jumpin Joe Friggno

The Mind

2009-11-17T06:03:00.000-08:00

Heath Ledger was keeping a journal so called the "Joker Journal" in order to help him in his crazed role in The Dark Knight. During the filming of this movie he was on anti-depressants, for he was having a hard time not being in the dumps. I would say a great part of that was because he was meditating on depressing things. I heard a report that he try to think up scenarios that his character the Joker would laugh about. I cannot recall exactly what it was, but it was something along the morbid line of: The Joker would laugh at 100 people drowning in a flood. Now, this thought alone is enough to make me sick, but to meditate on it and to become that character surely would be depressing. They say he died of an over dose. No wonder he was so depressed. The mind had the control over his body, for Heath had everything going for him the natural, but his mind was being filled with junk and thus death was result.
In Proverbs it say that as a man thinks he is so he is, or something along those lines. I cannot find the reference right now. My point though is, we Christians have been given a mind, that we are not using to the fullest. I believe by the mind we are transformed (Rom 12:2). I know that I am not transformed yet, to the measure that I can be in this life. I believe it is because I am still meditating on who I am before the cross and not after the cross. I believe that the devil is surely ticked off when we say Jesus I believe in you and want to follow you, however, his next task is to keep us living as his children although he is no longer our father. You see he is the father of lies and his lies have power over our flesh, but we are not of the flesh but the spirit. Our Father is in heaven and he is the Father of life and truth. O that God's children begin to renew their mind on who they are and not who they think they are or feel that they are. We are children of truth and love.

The Crown of Thorns

2009-10-13T06:08:00.000-07:00

The power of the mind is ridiculous. Now I am just diving into checking out the power of the mind, however, I know that it has great control over me and how I live. I would love to find some proven info about the mind, but I cannot find any (so if anyone can find some that'd be great). I was praying the other day as I was meditating on the death of Jesus on the cross, more specifically that he was wearing the crown of thorns. Jesus die on the cross for all the times that we have turned away. He was crushed for our sins, beaten for our healing, pierced for our "issues", our sin, and much the same he had the crown of thorns slammed on his head to restore our minds. He longed for our minds to have a right view of God. He hated that our minds had been deceived into thinking that he was a distant angry, sad, and mad God. Our minds and understanding had/have been darkened by, the liar, by the ruler of the kingdom of the air. He, the devil, wants us to feel condemnation for our sin. Jesus however, does not. He came to nullify sin and make it nothing between us and the Father, but our mind due to lies and the deception of the world that is in and outside the church have kept us in bonds to our sin. I believe that the mind is directly linked to believing. For instance, as a believer I am called a son of God due to the spirit of adoption that has been given to me. However, if my mind is deceived and does not think that I will not believe it. Now, the truth of the matter is I am a son of the Living God, but I not letting my mind dwell on the truth so I go with my felt and known experience. Jesus paid for my mind, by wearing the humiliating, excruciatingly painful crown that dug into his skull. As time went by I am sure it became a dull agonizing type of pain, the kind we simply live with and almost forget that it is there, until the crown hit the cross again and sent a sharp pain to his body. O how often, I wear a crown of thorns, only it is a crown of condemnation and lies. I slowly become use to this crown that pokes me and stabs me and think it is my lot in life. No, Jesus took the agony of pain on his head, in his mind. He bore all of my trash. I don't have to anymore. I have a new mind, the mind of Christ. Jesus knew he was loved, everywhere he walked and everything he did came from a place of love. I have the mind of Christ to see the impossible and do it.

Here Life Goes

2009-09-28T18:40:00.000-07:00

I am probably after my long leave of absence writing to myself, but who knows who could stumble on this here blog. I do not have anything to write about presently, but I thought I would put a little bloop on the screen. Here is a quick glance into my life: I am now married to Niki Cheri Harris (I still call her fullbright sometime, which is her maiden name) and I love being married. I am attending one of our training schools at Antioch called Elevate and it is awesome. I just got back from Virignia, for my sister-in-law, Christi-Anna, just had their first baby. It is now official, I am Uncle Jessie. Life is moving at the speed of light it seems like and I am just trying to hang on. In my spiritual life, I feel like my eyes are still dull, my ears are clogged, and my confidence is shot, but my spirit man, is showing signs of life. Thank you Jesus, the giver of life. Have a good night, I intend to, peace.

Untitled

2008-05-29T07:03:00.000-07:00

Jesus' decision to leave heaven meant him leaving home

He left 10,000 angels constantly declaring his glory,

To be received by 10,000 men that scorned his name.

He abandoned his fame in heaven,

To be unknown.

He turned his back on security and eternal light,

To embrace the insecurity of man and the darkness of this world.

He left the uncontested knowledge of his Father's love,

To learn what deception man faces about God.

He left complete experiential knowledge of the nature of His Father

To live a life of faith

He left his glorious body that could never be destroyed

To be a slobbering, drooling baby, a man, made of dust.

He left a land of no pain

To experience excruciating pain.

He left eternal bliss,

To become a man of sorrows.

He left his home, security, glory, honor, power, bliss.

To declare: I LOVE YOU! The Living God loves you!

He ripped the veil of lies: You are worthless, you can't please God,

God hates you, your words have no value to God, He does not hear you,

He doesn't love you, look at your life.

He proclaimed, NO! Those are not lies, I will leave everything! Finally,

TRUTH!

TRUTH REIGNS!

THE KINGDOM OF LIGHT IS HERE

I LOVE YOU, I WANT TO BE WITH YOU!

All I gave up the security, honor, fame, glory, and bliss, so that you can have it, I want to be shared, I want you to know life! I created you to know life!

I AM YOUR GOD AND I DO LOVE YOU!

COME AND BE WITH ME!

Ode to Colby

2008-05-09T15:50:00.001-07:00

Ode to Colby

Well Colby, a dear friend of mine, who I will talk about further in the lines to come, and I were talking the other day about how it is easier for certain people to be more joyful than others simply put. Another way of saying it would be "having gifts that differ according to the grace gvien to us" and well the conversation really made me ponder some things. First, I thought Colby is great at causing other people to think about things. Now if this ability is a gift or something other I am not sure, but the fruit of this ability has always been good in my life. It could be said that he is a skeptic, but I don’t think that is accurate in Colby's case. I would call him a searcher or a quester, for he is not does not do it in skeptism, but, he is in a search or quest for truth. His heart is right in this search. Truth, he wants truth, which is Jesus, therefore, it leads people to Jesus, which I am sure he does not feel that way because I would guess that it makes him feel pretty miserable, but many are rejoicing in the light that he has found and will find. So Colby's gift (I have decided it is a gift, maybe the gift of hunger for truth) is one that leads people into the depths of truth, into the depths of Jesus. Now, I am sure that Colby will receive that compliment well, because he loves compliments, well most compliments that is...

...There is one compliment that Colby is tired of hearing: "nice calves man" and if any of you know Colby you know that he has probably the best looking calves you have ever seen. I am serious. When I think of the perfect calves, I think Colby Ivey. Now let me explain why I have gone into Colby's calves, it is not strictly to have Colby get a little frustrated, although, that is some of my motivation; it is to prove a point. Colby has done nothing to get such nice calves, he will have nice calves until the days he dies; it could be said that they were a gift. A problem arises if I look at Colby's (Colby is on the left and D.O. is another good friend) calves and set out to have nice calves like Colby. Why you ask, well because it would never work. I could work out my calves for years and I would still have skinny legs with calves that make little ball just below the back of my knee... Hold on I still haven’t gotten my point across… Ok here is another thought that should help the pieces come together. I had this thought when I was up at Gold's Gym working out and I saw a guy that looked to be in great shape. He had broad shoulders, with well-defined muscles. At first I began to compare myself to this guy wishing I could look like him. I began to think what do I need to do to look like that, but it dawned on me I could never look like that dude. I simply do not have the frame to look like him; therefore, if I spent all my time trying to look like him I would: A) get really frustrated in my pursuit to be like him because I could never do it, due to the fact I was never supposed to look like him and B) I would lose my identity in who God created me to be which is sin!

I then began to think about myself in a positive light, I am in fairly good shape, my bench is probably higher than it has every been in my life, I feel good, and look good. Although, my bench is the highest it has ever been, I bet the dude could bench more than I ever could even at my peak. Now, I can choose to get mad, jealous, or strive to be someone I am not. Or I acknowledge that he is in good shape, is stronger than me and rejoice in that. When I do that, I am free to be me and he is free to be him. I guessing, simply judging by the guy's build that I could out run him (distance), which of course he could see me and think I have to be able to out run this guy and focus all his effort on that and where would that get him? He would loose his strength to try and beat me. At this point I realized how much I do this same type of comparison in the church, with others gifts i.e. acts of mercy, prophecy, and list could go on. I will see someone that is really good at showing mercy, like Niki (my girlfriend) and think man I wish I could care for people like she does, which maybe is good, but right now I do not think so. I think I should just acknowledge my weakness, ask God for help, and praise him for how Niki is created to show mercy. Again let me say, I do not think Niki has to work hard to show mercy it is simply how she is wired. If someone gets hurt, she will want them feel better (although she might laugh if they fell, she thinks people falling is funny) and feel horrible for them, just because that is how she is created.

What would be awesome is if we could all stop trying to be like everyone else and be who God has created us to be, pre-sin or in Christ, which, the only way that can happen is if we know that we are loved as his children. We have to know that he loves us for who we are, because he has created us. Would it not be awesome to have the church again? A group a people that knew who they were, what they were good at and fine with how God created them, embracing their weaknesses because his grace is enough and living from the abundance of grace given to us for our gifts. Imagine this (back to working out illustration) I see "bowed up dude", rejoice in who God has made him to be and desire to see him to be as fit as possible because I want him to be all that he can be, I am not jealous, but love him and want him to be his best. Now, what if that happened in the church, where we are to all have a goal and are all focused on Jesus. We would all want everyone to be in "tip top fitness" because it was for Jesus, and violently advancing His Kingdom (so we need to be in shape right? We are against a strong foe). We could release the prophet to be the prophet, the evangelist to be the evangelist and so on for the building up of the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ (we would have the fullness of Christ). We want everyone to be in the best shape with Jesus, regardless of how it looks, of course I will still work out my calves, but it is not to look like Colby, it is to glorify Jesus and do it for him. My in shape looks different than that of "bowed up dude" as the grace given to me looks different than that of Niki’s, but we must encourage everyone to be who they are and to be their best that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine rather, speaking the truth in love, [that we may] grow up in everyway in to who is the head, into Christ... Let’s hit the weights.

P.S. Colby is a great rock climber, the rock before him could be the toughest he has ever seen.

The Big and the Small of It

2008-04-23T10:45:00.001-07:00

What happens when the small thinks itself to be big?
When truly it was the big that thinks much of the small.

This thought came to me as I was reading Jeremiah 4:30:
"And you, O desolate one, what do you mean that you dress in scarlet,
that you adorn yourself with ornaments of gold, that you enlarge your eyes with paint?
In vain you beautify yourself. Your lovers despise you; they seek your life."

For some reason it struck me, that Israel was a small little place compared to the rest of the world, but none of the mighty kingdoms that surrounded Israel, messed with her. And why is this? God protected her! Israel, although small, thought itself to be big, but in reality, God thought much of Israel [still does think much of Israel].

My Apologies

2008-04-15T07:59:00.000-07:00

Wow, it has been a long time since of have written, which I regret. For anyone who was actually reading this and has been offended, I be sorry. I am going to make another effort to write again, just not today. I have one ready to publish, but not on this computer, so until then, have a splendid time.

Spider Convention

2007-10-31T18:40:00.000-07:00

Alright now, these thoughts have been burning in me for the past few weeks, finally I feel released to get them out. Well as a maintenance man, I do a lot of cleaning, so I guess it could be said that I much more like a janitor than a maintenance man. However, my title here at the church is maintenance, thus I call myself a maintenance man. As a maintenance man I see a lot of gross things, little brown paper bags, food smushed into the carpet, and well toilet gunk, and these things are not the most fun to clean up, but they are not the worst. I think one of the worst things that I have to clean up is spider webs. I hate cleaning these things up. Why you say, well let me tell ya (don't worry the burning thoughts are about to come, it just needs to be set up well): they stick to everything you used to clean them up with, they stick to the wall a lot instead of the tool I am using to clean them up with, they are often times pretty high and make my shoulders burn, at times they get so high I have to throw brooms up into them because I have nothing long enough to reach them and this stinks because all the debris flies in my eyes when I am looking up to get em. So I was thinking about these bloody spider webs and these were my thoughts. I wonder how and why spiders make there webs inside anyway. Surely, there are way more bugs outside than inside, right? So my thoughts progressed deeper and deeper. They must have an annual or semi-annual conference where all matters are discussed and concluded. I am sure they have the daddy long legs, for everyone knows that the daddy long legs are the wisest of spiders, as well as the granddaddy long legs, and if they are fortunate for that year's conference they have a great grandaddy long leg that has survived the years to reveal his wisdom. I am sure his wisdom is coveted by all the young spiders, although I am sure there are some that are rebellious and think their way is better. And still others that do not disagree with the old wise spiders, but have discovered times are changing due to global warming or other natural causes and have a new way of doing it.

So as I thought about such high and lofty things I began to think about the breakout sessions and what they talked about at them. I was certain that at these events is where they had the discussion as to where to weave your web. Some would argue inside buildings are far easier than outside of buildings due to the fact that the corners are concave, where the outside corners are convex, which you obviously can not web-weave there. Still others would I am sure say, that is why the windows are the best because they have the benefits of being outside and they have good corners. However, I am certain that only small spiders boast about the window corners, and the big House Spider raises one of his many hands in objection complaining that such advice preposterous. "There is no possible way that a window corner could hold my web" he says with slight irritation, but is truly prideful that he spins a mighty web that no window could hold. Then I am sure that order has to be restore to the breakout session and the subject is changed to the most effective web design. Here they bring in the master web designer, probably named Ryan (oh my gosh that is an unplanned, yet brilliant joke). I think I am going to stop before my blog losses all credibility.

Weak at Last

2007-10-28T15:51:00.001-07:00

O, to be in the Lord’s presence.
Here I am wanted and desired.
There is no flaw in me.
The purity and the life
Radiates forth in the throne room of heaven.

Where are you Jesus?
I feel your peace,
I feel your hand upon me.
Where are you?
I do not simply want peace,
I want you!

May that echo in the courts of heaven.
I want you Jesus!
Thank you that your love is steady.
There are never droughts that quench the river of your love.

Let us go swimming, where are you in this river?
On my shoulder I feel you touch, but I look to late.
Deep, still deeper I go, knowing that, that is where you are going.
Let us go to an underground world deep, in the heart of the river.

Into the blackest of holes you go,
Jesus, my faith cannot hold out much longer.
My breath is about to run out, restore my breath,
That I might go to the depths to which you go.
Give me more faith that I might keep going down
I do not want to have to go back up.

Come and rescue you me Jesus.
My life now gone, lifeless I hang in the depths of the water
I have nowhere else to go.
I know that you will not disappoint me.

As I stop fighting, stop swimming;
I sink, deeper, effortlessly deeper.
The predators begin to swim around me,
But I know they cannot harm me.
I have nothing, I can just sink,
With hopes that you will catch me when I get to the depths of myself.

No more floaties, no more things to make me think I am ok.
I refuse to hold to anything, anymore; nothing.
I pass the rainbows, you will catch me.
Soon, eventually, I will hit the Rock.
The Rock that breaks all that fall upon it,
Broken, crushed, weak, lowly, alone, afraid, helpless:
This Rock brings the truth to light.
Let me be crushed, alone, afraid, broken, helpless:
Weak at last, I am not enough, I am broken, alone, afraid, helpless.
Finally, the truth that will set me free, I suck and that is ok.

I cannot do it, my heart rejoice, you are weak.
It is true, deny it no longer, you are wretched, dirty, and black.
Dead, hard, smoky, crushed, and smothered, you are my heart.
I have thought you were alive due to some emotions, but,
You are suffocating, be yourself and embrace that you are mess.

The cross takes only, the weak, bloody, broken, wretched, and deformed.
The cross is for the messy, beaten, afraid, lowly, and lonely.
The Rock, crushed his own Son, let the Rock crush you.
You are his son too. The Rock crushes only to bring life.
He only exposes you to cloth you, my heart embrace, who you are,
What you have become. You are not good or strong, O rejoice,
There is nothing good in you.

Be glad, I am weak at last. O liberating truth.
I never thought I would be so happy to confess:
I am lonely, afraid, not happy, unsatisfied, dirty, bloody, hard, and a mess.
But, I am! I am joyous to confess it!
I am what I am and I cannot change it!
Yes! It is true. I CANNOT CHANGE IT!
Liberty rings in these words, listen to it.

I, cannot change my dirty, rotten heart.
And man, it is rotten, no more hiding, no more clinging to the floaties.
I am a crusty, wrinkled, and deformed.
I do not have to hide it.
I am insecure and I do not think that I am cool.
No more, this is who I am.
I am in the light.

The blood of Jesus cleanses me.
Jesus gives me a new heart.
Jesus alone can change me. His loving touch restores me life.
His Spirit, his blood, his love.
You are strong! You are healing. You are tender.
Come and change me.
Your strength is far greater than my weakness!

"Hurricane a Comin Hoist the Riggins"

2007-10-24T21:35:00.000-07:00

First off if anyone can name the movie quote from which my title comes from, I will call you, and congradulate you on the phone (please leave you number, due to the fact I lose phones frequently I have a hard time keeping up with #s). I will gladly put a second, I went on a date with a girl on Friday...and it was real fun. I like her! However, intriging that might be, that is not the main reason I wanted to blog. This following information is crucial...maybe a little dramatic, it is for sure exciting. I believe that the season in my life is changing or about to change. I heard a song that stirred deep emotions today by John Mark McMillan, called "How He Loves". For my roomates (at A&M that is) this is my latest guy to like, he is up there with Misty and Jason Upton. The whole song is money but it is the first verse and the last one that gets me. The first

"He is jealous for me
Love's like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me.
Oh, how He loves us so
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so.

The last verse:

Well, I thought about You the day Stephen died and You met me between my breaking
I know that I still love You, God, despite the agony
...they want to tell me You're cruel
But if Stephen could sing, he'd say it's not true, cause...Cause he loves us...

I believe that the next season for me entails being like the tree in verse one. I think his love that is like a hurricane and the weight of his wind and mercy are going to bend me. I am excited to love, to live, and to enjoy. I am even looking forward to the strain, the pain, the bending, and hurting it will entail. I will being living, breathing, enjoying; life. Finally, able to be loved. O I am so excited to be loved and to love in return. I am excited to have a heart that bleeds when it is cut. Rocks don't bleed, but flesh does. I am certain as well, that the Lord is going to have to remind me of this blog, when I am in pain and a mess in the floor, crying out for relief from the pain. I know this...but more and more I am learning he is with me, and does not want me to hurt, yet he does want a bride that hurts with him. Yes, yes let it be Lord!

Big Ball of ahhmy Gosh

2007-10-09T15:34:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been a while since I have put anything out here in the big nothingness, or everything, I am not sure about what it is, the internet. I was not for certain what I was going to talk about today when I got on, I feel like I am a big ball of energy. I just keep fidgeting and being like ahhhh man, what I am going to do. However, as I typed that first line it made me think about the internet and how crazy it is. I cannot get past the fact that I can hit a button that says publish and it goes really to nowhere, but can be seen everywhere, by anyone that wants to see it. That is crazy to me. I mean think about wireless internet. It is floating around all around you or me, for sure, right now since I am on wireless, but probably you too, now-a-days There is limitless information in the room with me. I mean is that good for me. What does it do to me? This is crazy I mean crazy. Amen.

Ya Just Don't Know

2007-09-07T16:51:00.001-07:00

You know what I am talking about right? That weird space in between the Oreo: the white nothingness. No one knows what exactly it is, you know it is there and it taste good, but it surely will mess you up when it gets to the stomach. I have heard that it will stay in your stomach for seven years, now, we know that's not true, regardless it will be sour in your stomach. It is almost like the time of life I am in; undefinable. People ask me how I am doing and well quite frankly I don't know. Let me tell you my best answer. If I am having a good day circumstancially, it tastes good, then my day is well. For instance, if I have had a good cup of coffee, then my day is good. Imagine, I am living for a cup of coffee, not really, kind of, but those who do not have hope in the Lord are living for a cup of coffee, relationship, food, a body, a smile; anthing to fill the hole, the void that is not going away. This thought makes me short circut. I do not know why exactly, besides the thought, they have something so incredibly temporary to live for, is horribe. The Lord did not make people to live for a cup of coffee. On the other hand, if circumstatially I am having a bad day I realize how poor in spirit I am. I realize I am wretched, I am so hungry, I am messed up, so broken. You know why the poor in spirit inheirit the kingdom of heaven, I think it is because when you are poor in spirit, you realize that a cup of coffee is not worth living for and you must go for more, which is living for something other than what is scene, the kingdom of heaven. A place where the spirit and the hole within is eternally satisfied. Your very world is transformed, you realize that you have been brought out of the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light and if you haven't you want to find the way to the kingdom of light. You begin to live for eternity and because of that you will inheirit much in the kingdom of heaven. When you are poor in spirit you long to live, and must live, for something more. When you are poor in spirit you get: clothed in garments of splendor, rich with gold refined in the fire, and eyes opened to see. Oh man! That is good stuff. I think the hardest part, is remaining poor in spirit, staying in that place. I do not know how to do that, I do not want to make myself suffer when I do not need to suffer, yet I do not want to end the hardship and to receive not the fullness of the blessing. I want to know how to do that, please help me, if you have any advice. Lastly, I believe the reason that I am and others are getting to eat the white stuff is due to the prayers that I have cried out, "Lord change me no matter what it takes, Lord I want to know you please do not let me settle..." Praise the Lord that he answers pray, maybe not how I like it but, He is the Good Shepherd, I trust Your lead, my God and my King!

100% Vitiman C

2007-08-23T01:37:00.000-07:00

The Orange Juice companies are brilliant. Why you may ask? Well let me
tell you, but first let me ask you a question. When you are beginning
to feel a little under the weather what is one of the first thoughts
you have? I need to get some Vitamin C, right? And then the next thought is well I need to get some OJ. Brilliant marketing isn't it. Not only, do you want to drink OJ in the morning with breakfast, but also you want to get it when you begin to get sick. Now, this is so genius, due to the fact that most other juices (apple, grape, cranberry peach) all have 100% Vit. C, but you never think about that when you get sick. The OJ companies have as my dad would say, "Pulled the wool over our eyes." Awesome! Good Job OJ companies! However, do know that you can drink most any juice if you are desiring to pump up the immune system. So pick you favorite and realize that some juices are not 100% juice, which not good and also realize that OJ has a ton of acid in it. So it might even be better to get something besides OJ, due to the fact if you do end up getting sick it is not fun to yak when you have whole bunch of acid in the belly.

Confidence in the Flesh

2007-07-31T09:41:00.000-07:00

Blessed Goodness

If I choose to put confidence, trust, or reliance in my flesh, I must accept the good and the bad for my actions. If I have any confidence in what I do, then my confidence is in not in the Lord. Therefore, I have to stand before the Lord with the good that I do in any certain area and the bad in that area. I am essentially setting myself up for failure, because I cannot be perfect, thus I will be judged according to my good and my bad. My good is nothing better than menstrual rags (Is. 64:4 Literal translation)and my bad, which is also called sin, equals death which leads to...well you know. So if I choose myself the outcome is menstrual rags or death a.k.a you know where, two options from which I would not like to choose. The greatest failure of all, however, is that I miss the essence of the gospel: righteousness by faith. Jesus died on the cross so I did not have to be righteous (let me it clear that I sometimes try real hard to righteous and I am crushed when I fail, because I think that I can be perfect, pretty high view of myself) but simply by faith take up his righteousness and live in the blessing of being pure, blameless, without blemish, and holy. Freedom, revelation, acceptance, and sonship are found here, in the righteousness of Christ. It is for you and it is for me, Jesus has already paid for it, take it.

S.N. (side note) I will probably be talking about this quite a bit in my next few posts

S.S.N Please, please comment if you have any say: positive or negative, really

My Stuggle

2007-07-31T08:57:00.000-07:00

You know when you have so much brewing in you you do not know where to start? Well that is about how I feel right now. Here is my struggle: I know there is something that I really need to think about and write about, but I know if I do that I am actually going to have to live my live according to the truth. It seems easier to live in the a lie than to face reality. It is easier to dismiss the idea that God will judge you at the end of you life than live in that reality now. For then I am my own God and thus I can do whatever I want, nonetheless I will have to face truth, whether now or later, I cannot escape it, nigh can anyone escape the truth, it comes to all, much like death (barring the Lord's return).

Watching the Dust

2007-07-20T07:52:00.001-07:00

Watching the dust dance in the sunlight,
With no where to go but down
Yet that does not seem to bother it
For it effortlessly floats, twists, and swings
As it falls to the ground,
With joy and glee some make the descent,
While others sink with peace and tranquility,
Happy to be transfixed in mid-air.
One thing is for certain concerning these little specs of dust,
Not a one complains about how it is lifting and falling
Because nothing depends on them,
For who knew the breeze would come,
From that direction or so swift.
No one boasts about how it floats;
They didn't determine it, O no; the wind did.
The dust waits with eager expectation for the wind to blow.
For dust, is only dust,
It can do nothing unless the wind blows.
I know a man that felt the same way,
He said something along the lines of:
I can do nothing apart from the Father.

A Good Christian

2007-07-11T13:48:00.000-07:00

Well my thoughts are running crazy today. I want to dive in to a thought that I have had today due to a few things. One being I read the first chapter in Abba's Child by Brennan Manning. He said something that really got me thinking, but due to the fact that I do not have the book right in front of me, I will not be able to give the exact quote. However, it got me thinking about thoughts that I have had before, I am so thankful that I had them again today (life has been difficult for me, everybody knows what I am talking about when, I say nothing and I mean nothing can satisfy; some might call it depression, I do not know it might be, for me it has driven back to old habits and ways that are not good. It has thrown me into a battle, a fire, that is hot). This thought hit me while I was in the prayer room at IHOP. I think to be a good Christian you have to be perfect, but Hallelujah that is not true. What is good is to live in the nature of God. What does this look like? Well it means you go hard after whatever it is that you believe God has called you and wants you to after. You then mess up and bust it hard, if you are going hard you are going to eat it hard. The first analogy that comes to mind is the amazing guys that are riding in the Tour de France (please go back and say that in your best French accent if you did not the first time). They are going hard I mean at some of the sprints they are hitting at least 40mph. Imagine crashing at that speed, you are going to bit it hard, because you are going hard. Then you mourn, you must for you have just been way laid by life, sin, burdens, you fill in the blank. You must mourn well. You must come to grip with reality: you are weak, you are nothing, you best thing is filthy, you are dust, that is being held together by God, you cannot save yourself, you cannot stop sinning, you cannot change your heart (the sad thing here is that we think that we can change our heart. We put up all these laws to make us feel better, essentially we say if we can obey these laws we are good. However, it decieves us for the sin/stronghold/issue whatever you want to call it has not been removed from our heart. It lays in there growing and growing, with us unaware of what is going on because we have the "guidelines" to make that it does not come out until it is to late. If we leave it unattended it becomes a beast that is out of control by the time that we realize that it is still there. But a good Christian knows that he is loved by God regardless of what he does, he knows that he cannot free himself from his sin, you can do nothing to make yourself strong, you can do nothing to cleanse your heart, simply put you are (I am) a man desperately in need of a Savior. Now when a man works, his wages are not credited to him as a gift, but as an obligation. However, to the man who does not work but trusts God who justifies the wicked, his faith is credited as righteousness. Finally the truth is out, without all the laws you realize you need Jesus and that you do not need to work to receive the love that he has for you. Then you can rejoice because you have done nothing to earn this perfect love. You need a man that was perfect for you because you cannot be perfect again Hallelujah. A good Christian relies on the holiness of God; one who leans and depends fully on the nature of God. A God that is rushing to forgive, to redeem, restore, help, love. For some reason I have never equated being weak as equal to being a good Christian, but Jesus did he did not do anything apart from His Father, God. He knew, him being a man, that if he did anything on his own he would become prideful, or something wrong; he knew to do anything apart from God was a sin. A good Christian walks in his weakness and leans hard into the fact that God is good, loving, merciful, forgiving, just, full of compassion and not condemnation. A good Christian is to embrace weakness so that you can depend on Jesus, his love, his nature, and this alone. This is the only way that Jesus can be strong in me, for in my weakness his power is perfected. So this is the reason Paul boasted in his weakness, in his non ability to do anything. I realized that I was getting caught thinking if I could just make it to this point be free of this stuff or whatever level of perfection that I could attain to then, oh then I would be free and able to really live. I do not think that is the pinnacle, simply because this is not the gospel, a weak man leaning on an eternally never weakening God. For if this is your life, you are continually in awe of a loving bridegroom, in whom you can rejoice all the day long, because you are weak and fully know in this weakness, but fully loved and embraced in this weakness. I desire this grace to remain in weakness, knowing that you are fully loved. For when you are weak and Jesus has to do everything, you have no pride, you boast only in him, and you can truly rejoice because you have done nothing. I did not feel like proof all of it and these thoughts are rough and not concrete, so please if you have any thoughts let me know.

Dust

2007-07-07T18:30:00.000-07:00

You know if I could realize that I was just dust, I would wait for the wind to blow; instead of try to move myself. Can dust even move itself?. Water could be helpful because then it would at least bind me to some more dust. For my first one off the cuff, what do you think? Come Mighty Wind and blow. Let the Living Water flow. Move me where you wish, bind me to who you will. It sounds pretty, now the question is, will I wait, will I let it happen?