A Good Christian

Well my thoughts are running crazy today. I want to dive in to a thought that I have had today due to a few things. One being I read the first chapter in Abba's Child by Brennan Manning. He said something that really got me thinking, but due to the fact that I do not have the book right in front of me, I will not be able to give the exact quote. However, it got me thinking about thoughts that I have had before, I am so thankful that I had them again today (life has been difficult for me, everybody knows what I am talking about when, I say nothing and I mean nothing can satisfy; some might call it depression, I do not know it might be, for me it has driven back to old habits and ways that are not good. It has thrown me into a battle, a fire, that is hot). This thought hit me while I was in the prayer room at IHOP. I think to be a good Christian you have to be perfect, but Hallelujah that is not true. What is good is to live in the nature of God. What does this look like? Well it means you go hard after whatever it is that you believe God has called you and wants you to after. You then mess up and bust it hard, if you are going hard you are going to eat it hard. The first analogy that comes to mind is the amazing guys that are riding in the Tour de France (please go back and say that in your best French accent if you did not the first time). They are going hard I mean at some of the sprints they are hitting at least 40mph. Imagine crashing at that speed, you are going to bit it hard, because you are going hard. Then you mourn, you must for you have just been way laid by life, sin, burdens, you fill in the blank. You must mourn well. You must come to grip with reality: you are weak, you are nothing, you best thing is filthy, you are dust, that is being held together by God, you cannot save yourself, you cannot stop sinning, you cannot change your heart (the sad thing here is that we think that we can change our heart. We put up all these laws to make us feel better, essentially we say if we can obey these laws we are good. However, it decieves us for the sin/stronghold/issue whatever you want to call it has not been removed from our heart. It lays in there growing and growing, with us unaware of what is going on because we have the "guidelines" to make that it does not come out until it is to late. If we leave it unattended it becomes a beast that is out of control by the time that we realize that it is still there. But a good Christian knows that he is loved by God regardless of what he does, he knows that he cannot free himself from his sin, you can do nothing to make yourself strong, you can do nothing to cleanse your heart, simply put you are (I am) a man desperately in need of a Savior. Now when a man works, his wages are not credited to him as a gift, but as an obligation. However, to the man who does not work but trusts God who justifies the wicked, his faith is credited as righteousness. Finally the truth is out, without all the laws you realize you need Jesus and that you do not need to work to receive the love that he has for you. Then you can rejoice because you have done nothing to earn this perfect love. You need a man that was perfect for you because you cannot be perfect again Hallelujah. A good Christian relies on the holiness of God; one who leans and depends fully on the nature of God. A God that is rushing to forgive, to redeem, restore, help, love. For some reason I have never equated being weak as equal to being a good Christian, but Jesus did he did not do anything apart from His Father, God. He knew, him being a man, that if he did anything on his own he would become prideful, or something wrong; he knew to do anything apart from God was a sin. A good Christian walks in his weakness and leans hard into the fact that God is good, loving, merciful, forgiving, just, full of compassion and not condemnation. A good Christian is to embrace weakness so that you can depend on Jesus, his love, his nature, and this alone. This is the only way that Jesus can be strong in me, for in my weakness his power is perfected. So this is the reason Paul boasted in his weakness, in his non ability to do anything. I realized that I was getting caught thinking if I could just make it to this point be free of this stuff or whatever level of perfection that I could attain to then, oh then I would be free and able to really live. I do not think that is the pinnacle, simply because this is not the gospel, a weak man leaning on an eternally never weakening God. For if this is your life, you are continually in awe of a loving bridegroom, in whom you can rejoice all the day long, because you are weak and fully know in this weakness, but fully loved and embraced in this weakness. I desire this grace to remain in weakness, knowing that you are fully loved. For when you are weak and Jesus has to do everything, you have no pride, you boast only in him, and you can truly rejoice because you have done nothing. I did not feel like proof all of it and these thoughts are rough and not concrete, so please if you have any thoughts let me know.