Weak at Last

O, to be in the Lord’s presence.
Here I am wanted and desired.
There is no flaw in me.
The purity and the life
Radiates forth in the throne room of heaven.

Where are you Jesus?
I feel your peace,
I feel your hand upon me.
Where are you?
I do not simply want peace,
I want you!

May that echo in the courts of heaven.
I want you Jesus!
Thank you that your love is steady.
There are never droughts that quench the river of your love.

Let us go swimming, where are you in this river?
On my shoulder I feel you touch, but I look to late.
Deep, still deeper I go, knowing that, that is where you are going.
Let us go to an underground world deep, in the heart of the river.

Into the blackest of holes you go,
Jesus, my faith cannot hold out much longer.
My breath is about to run out, restore my breath,
That I might go to the depths to which you go.
Give me more faith that I might keep going down
I do not want to have to go back up.

Come and rescue you me Jesus.
My life now gone, lifeless I hang in the depths of the water
I have nowhere else to go.
I know that you will not disappoint me.

As I stop fighting, stop swimming;
I sink, deeper, effortlessly deeper.
The predators begin to swim around me,
But I know they cannot harm me.
I have nothing, I can just sink,
With hopes that you will catch me when I get to the depths of myself.

No more floaties, no more things to make me think I am ok.
I refuse to hold to anything, anymore; nothing.
I pass the rainbows, you will catch me.
Soon, eventually, I will hit the Rock.
The Rock that breaks all that fall upon it,
Broken, crushed, weak, lowly, alone, afraid, helpless:
This Rock brings the truth to light.
Let me be crushed, alone, afraid, broken, helpless:
Weak at last, I am not enough, I am broken, alone, afraid, helpless.
Finally, the truth that will set me free, I suck and that is ok.

I cannot do it, my heart rejoice, you are weak.
It is true, deny it no longer, you are wretched, dirty, and black.
Dead, hard, smoky, crushed, and smothered, you are my heart.
I have thought you were alive due to some emotions, but,
You are suffocating, be yourself and embrace that you are mess.

The cross takes only, the weak, bloody, broken, wretched, and deformed.
The cross is for the messy, beaten, afraid, lowly, and lonely.
The Rock, crushed his own Son, let the Rock crush you.
You are his son too. The Rock crushes only to bring life.
He only exposes you to cloth you, my heart embrace, who you are,
What you have become. You are not good or strong, O rejoice,
There is nothing good in you.

Be glad, I am weak at last. O liberating truth.
I never thought I would be so happy to confess:
I am lonely, afraid, not happy, unsatisfied, dirty, bloody, hard, and a mess.
But, I am! I am joyous to confess it!
I am what I am and I cannot change it!
Yes! It is true. I CANNOT CHANGE IT!
Liberty rings in these words, listen to it.

I, cannot change my dirty, rotten heart.
And man, it is rotten, no more hiding, no more clinging to the floaties.
I am a crusty, wrinkled, and deformed.
I do not have to hide it.
I am insecure and I do not think that I am cool.
No more, this is who I am.
I am in the light.

The blood of Jesus cleanses me.
Jesus gives me a new heart.
Jesus alone can change me. His loving touch restores me life.
His Spirit, his blood, his love.
You are strong! You are healing. You are tender.
Come and change me.
Your strength is far greater than my weakness!